Journal #5: Fish out of water

The event I attended was a student panel and tour for Chicano students, hosted by the Chicano Commencement Committee. I brought along my friend, who was Chinese, as to not feel completely alone. The event was held in the Constanoan Room in the Student Union on Friday morning. As I entered the room, I saw about 50 students already occupying the audience section and five more students were seated behind a long desk, facing the crowd. From what I could see, almost everybody was Chicano, save my friend and I.

The audience was made up of transferring students from San Jose City College and the event was mainly about answering their questions on how the transition will be and what they could expect at their first year at a university. I felt out of place, not just because of my ethnicity, but also because I was older than the crowd and the purpose of this event was not really meant for me. I mainly tried to blend in the crowd by being really quiet and not asking any questions. I did notice a couple of quizzical looks, but they were quickly forgotten once the student panel started.

Chicano students made up the panel and at many points during the questioning, they spoke in Spanish. There were a couple of times when the panel would say something in Spanish and the crowd would laugh. My friend and I would just smile during these parts and shrug our shoulders at each other. The audience mainly asked questions about tuition for SJSU, how the dorm life was and how the social scene was. Even though there no moments where it was made obvious there were two Asian girls in the crowd, I still felt kind of silly being there. However, it was mainly because I wasn't a transfer student and I didn't go to San Jose City College. But I think people just saw that I was not Chicano, but was there anyway and that that was the weird part.

After the student panel, we all got outside and waited for our tour guide. As we were going around the campus, the tour guide would also say parts of the tour in Spanish. That didn’t bother me because I already knew the campus, but it did bother me that the tour guide wasn’t aware of the two Asian girls in the crowd. When the tour was finished, the SJCC crowd gathered around their supervisors and went on their way. My friend and I left for the Student Union and talked about the experience. I didn’t feel as out of place as I thought I would have, despite the fact that the event was for Chicano students by Chicano students. Still, it definitely wasn’t the most comfortable atmosphere for me and I feel I kind of overcompensated for not being Chicano by acting super polite to everybody around me.

Overall, the crowd was pretty chill and it was an informative two hours for me.